Sid Vicious spela’ fyra-strängars bas och kunde inte sjunga
Och alla hata’ honom utom dom som tyckte om han
En ukulele har fyra strängar, men Sid spela’ inte ukulele
Han tog crack och mörda’ nog sin flickvän Nancy Spungen

Om Sid hade en ukulele kunde kanske han vart lycklig
Kanske allting inte hade slutat lika illa
Han kanske inte skulle tatt så mycket heroin, i stället
Kunde han ha sjungit fina sånger för sin flickvän

Så spela det du gillar bäst
Och glöm allting om riktig text
För fast allt annat misslyckas så kan du vara lycklig
Gör läxor med et gaffelskaft
Ät flingorna med hallonsaft
Ta med din leksak till ditt jobb
Och spela ukulele

Ukulele, liten, kraftfull
Ukulele, modig, fridfull
Du kan spela ukulele, det är faktiskt jätteenkelt
Spela ukulele kraftigt, spela ukulele dåligt
Ukulele ondskan tagen
Ukulele räddar dagen
Ukulele skiner blankt från torn och slott och katedraler

Lizzie Borden tog en yxa, högg sin mamma förti gånger
Högg sin pappa förti en, det blev ett tragiskt pussel
Om dom bara gett henne ett instrument, dom puritanska
Jävlarna, dom hade inte fattat vad som händer
När man inte låter folk va kreativa, och sjunga, skrika
Och nuförtiden är det värre, för nu har dom pistoler
Det tar ungefär en timme att lära nån at spela ukulele
Lika länge tar att lära bygga bomber
Räkna på det, du

Så spela det du gillar bäst
Och glöm allting om riktig text
För fast allt annat misslyckas så kan du vara lycklig
Gör läxor med et gaffelskaft
Ät flingorna med hallonsaft
Ta med din flaska sprit till jobbet
Spela ukulele

Ukulele, lilla under
Ukulele, blixt och dunder
Du kan spela ukulele, med, i alla världens länder
Spela Joan Jett, och Jaques Brel
Och Eminem och Neutral Milk Hotel
Låt barnen krossa hatet
Spela ukulele naken
Och om nån försöker sno din ukulele, låt dom ta den

Tänk dig om det inte fanns musik, och inga sånger
Tänk dig om John Lennon inte skjutits utanför sin lägenhet
Tänk dig om John Lennon hade skrivit ”Imagine” för ukulele
Kanske folk då hade fattat vad han menade

Du tycker kanske att jag är naiv och lite dum
Att om man vill rädda världen kan man hellre mata barnen
Men i många tusen år har folk behövt musik för att va lyckliga
Och därför har jag lovat John att spela

Så spela du en Beatles låt
Gör tunnelbanan kär och kåt
Dom kostar typ 200 spänn, det är ju jättebilligt
Spela tills solen går upp
Spela tills din hand gör ont
Spela några Vreeswijklåtar på din ukulele
Sluta tjata på din blogg
Sluta låtsas konst är svårt
Lär dig bara tre ackord
Och öva ej för ofta
Gör nån mänska lycklig med
En liten grej av plast och trä
Fan, vad underbart det är att spela ukulele
Ät läxorna med hallonsaft
Gör flingor med et gaffelskaft
Ta med din leksak till ditt jobb
Din flaska sprit
Din vibrator
Din spindelskräck
Ditt objektiv
Din mor och far
Din disco stick
Ditt soundtrack från Karate Kid
Din rosenkrans
Din fina kniv
Carolaskivan, ny och fin
Ditt älsklingsrum
Din TV-film
Ditt mjukisdjur
Ditt glasöga
Din sousafon
Ditt frukost-te
Ditt Nick Drake band
Ditt vackra träd
Din glassbil och
Din ända fru
Din livsglädje
Din öppna sal
Vi ska ju alla dö en dag
Så spela ukulele

—

Recording to follow in the next few days.

Some days, you know exactly where you’re going. You see your future before you, bright and beautiful and full of hope.
Some days, you can’t see beyond breakfast. Everything is blank and you see nothing at all.

Some days, the sky is so blue, open and inviting. You look up into the vast emptiness of it, and it’s like you’re hanging by your feet from the Earth and you could just fall into it, flying, looking down and seeing everything.
Some days, the sky is grey and oppressive, and you can feel it pressing down on you, pushing you into the ground until you can’t move, can’t think, can’t do anything.

Some days, life is beautiful.
Some days, you’d rather die.

Some days you know exactly what you’re doing
Some days you haven’t a clue.
And some days, you’ve already done it.

You turned two wineglasses upside down, and put the sign with your name on it on top of them. Then you had to give one of them away, and it didn’t work anymore, but I thought, that’s exactly what I would have done.

We’ve never met. Not officially. I’ve been in the same room with you several times this week. I’ve even spoken to you once, but you don’t know who I am. Nor should you.

Regardless, you have given me so much strength and inspiration. Strength to make up my mind. Inspiration when I think I’m stuck and can’t keep going, and just reading one of your stories has pushed me forwards, taught me how to write again.

I love you. Platonically. I’m not a crazed fan. I don’t want to fuck you. (Well, I wouldn’t say no, but I’m young enough to be your daughter. And you’re married. And I have a boyfriend. And either way, we don’t know each other.)

But I wish I were twenty years older, and that I could have been there when you were still at liberty to mingle and talk without being drowned, because I think we would have got along very well. I think we would have liked each other, and had a lot to talk about. I think we could have bounced ideas off one another, and become friends.

I choose to think so.

I’m prone to hero-worship, but if I were twenty years older, and knew you then, maybe I wouldn’t have to be. Then it wouldn’t be so hard to breathe. Then I’d be able to look away.

I promise I’m not mad. Well, no madder than most people. Well, a bit madder than most people, but not mad enough to seek you out and kidnap you and take a lock of your hair as a memento, or sew your skin into a lamp, or have a shrine in my basement with your pictures, and try to reenact things that happen in your stories, causing pain to other people.

Not that mad.

Just mad enough to think that maybe, one day, when my dream comes true and I’m a writer too, I will meet you, and we’ll talk, and we’ll get along very well. We’ll bounce ideas off each other, and become friends.

I choose to hope so.

It’s dark and there’s no one here
Except the arseholes who make me feel like shit
It’s what you do when there’s no one there
You close your eyes and you get over it

Put on my robe and pointy hat

Cause I’m a wizard, yeah
I got the power, I got the groove
I’m a wizard, yeah
I am made of awesome and have nothing to prove
I’m a wizard…

I am the wizard!

Their words crashing down on me
Some stupid imbecile who thinks he’s smart
Takes a while to see
That the only thing that matters is in you heart

Pick up my wand and go outside

Cause I’m a wizard, yeah
I got the power, I got the groove
I’m a wizard, yeah
I am made of awesome and have nothing to prove
I’m a wizard…

I am the wizard!
I’m not a lizard
Shoot up a blizzard
With Eddie Izzard
Cause I’m the wizard!

But this is not what you wanted
And not what I needed
Fear flights of fancy
Forever fucking lovely

Stars above, stars below
The world’s a roundish circuit board
I’m flying high, can’t hear at all
But I see it all, I see it all

Stars above, stars below
The planet is a motherboard
I’m flying high, don’t fear at all
But I see it all, I see it all
I see it all, I see it all

No one sees me here
Above the clouds I know I’m safe
But maybe this was just all wrong
Moving on and on I’m gone

Cause this is not what you wanted
And not what I needed
Fear flights of fancy
Fairly fucking lovely

Stars above, stars below
The world’s a roundish circuit board
I’m flying high, can’t hear at all
But I see it all, I see it all

Stars above, stars below
The planet is a motherboard
I’m flying high, don’t fear at all
But I see it all, I see it all
I see it all, I see it all

I’ve been trying oh so hard
I’ve been looking for the future
I’ve been looking out for you
I’ve been going for the picture

Such a motherfucking shame
Such a long and stupid pain
Such a kicking to the balls
Such a beating to the walls

Stars above, stars below
The whole world is a circuit board
I’m flying high, can’t hear at all
But I see it all, I see it all

Stars above, stars below
The planet is a motherboard
I’m flying high, don’t fear at all
But I see it all, I see it all
I see it all, I see it all
I see it all…

Rain falling under streetlamps
Forming words that I don’t understand
From a distant land

Puddles forming glowing rivers
Cold water makes me shiver again
Are you a friend

Solemnly we pass the night
Goodbye comes with the morning light
Wish I may, wish I might

Summer’s gone and autumn’s here
It’s the dark and cold that makes me fear
Will you keep me near?

Soon come the lonely nights
And I think I might just cry
Without you by my side

With the light of day
Will you try to make me stay?
Let’s just wile the night away

Tell me just how long
Must I be this strong?
And what shall I do
When I can’t see you?

I have said all my goodbyes
Smilingly I’ve listened to their lies
With a heavy sigh

Now only you remain
Only you will hear out my refrain
Nothing more to gain

Morning rain and misty eyes
Listen to the blackbird’s cries
As I step out of the night

Tell me how to give
Show me how to live
Lend me your own voice
So I can make this choice…

Please take off the mask
And show me that he’s real
The one who knows me to my last
The one who knows where I begin

Please take off the mask
I know that you’re in there
Let your guard down, let me see
Let me feel you, let me hear

Please, let me in

Please take off the mask
I haven’t seen you for so long
Only the briefest spells of time
When you make me feel so strong

Please take off the mask
You are more than I see now
You have so much more to give
You can heal me if you try

Just let me in

Hold onto your senses
Please don’t try to hide
I’m standing here and waiting
Just dare to take the stride
I’m holding out for you, dear
I’m never gonna go
I know that you’re still in there
Take my hand, break out your soul

Please take off the mask
You don’t have to hide from me
Your defences cannot last
I will hold you finally

Please take off the mask
I have seen it all before
Follow the sound of my voice
You are so close to see it all

Just let me in

Hold onto your senses
Please don’t try to hide
I’m standing here and waiting
Just dare to take the stride
I’m holding out for you, dear
I’m never gonna go
I know that you’re still in there
Take my hand, break out your soul

I’m sleeping in your bed
Is it my bed, or in my head?
Room is full bags
Am I home?

Living out of boxes
Music in my ears
Keys are in my pocket
I’m eating up my fears
You’re the only person who can answer me
Am I home?
Am I home?

My old keys are gone
I put them in a mailbox
My old home is gone
Am I home?

I’ve tried to fit my books
In your bookshelf, but it looks
As though we need more space
Am I home?

Living in your house
Unpacking all my things
Keys are in the hallway
I hide away my wings
You’re the only person who can answer me
Am I home?
Am I home?

World is overgrowing now
Life is overflowing now
We are bright and shining now
And the Earth is singing out

Right at this moment there is no death or pain
Tomorrow we can dance in the rain…

Can you see it blooming now
We are grooving now
We are moving now
Can you feel it swinging now
We are winning now
We are, we are, we are
Alive

On the day of reckoning
We will see the dark draw in
But today there is no fear
Mother nature’s birth is here

Now we can fly, there is no death or pain
Not a moment of joy is in vain…

Can you see it blooming now
We are grooving now
We are moving now
Can you feel it swinging now
We are winning now
We are, we are, we are
Alive

Can you see it growing now
Overflowing now
Overjoyed now
Can you hear them sing it now
We will bring it now
We are, we are, we are
Alive

Love it
Leave it
Go deceive it
You meet fate on a day like today

And here you are, sitting on the shelf
Drinking whiskey like water and hating yourself
And if it was a question of dying tonight
You’d be faced with the challenge of losing the fight

So here you are, sitting on the shelf
Drinking whiskey like water and killing yourself
What you’re feeling right now wasn’t part of the deal
And tomorrow’s another day to make you feel
So numb it, numb it, kill it with fire
Cause everyone in this world is a liar
And this is all that you need to know
Before you go

Go down
Fall down
Lose your calm now
God looks away today

Blow it
Fake it
Don’t mistake it
You lost your lucky day a long time ago

And here you are, sitting on the shelf
Drinking whiskey like water and hating yourself
And if it was a question of dying tonight
You’d be faced with the challenge of getting it right

So here you are, sitting on the shelf
Drinking whiskey like water and killing yourself
What you’re feeling right now wasn’t part of the deal
And tomorrow’s another day to make you feel
So numb it, numb it, kill it with fire
Cause everyone in this world is a liar
And this is all that you need to know
Before you go